What is Civilization?

Learning Goals:
Identify and describe the characteristics of civilization, while providing evidence to support your decision.

In the beginning of the semester I wrote this short essay to receive a grade out of 4. I got a 2/4 so here’s the opportunity to revise and do it to get a better mark. I attached the rubric, prompt and the original essay in 3 different files. Here is the comments of the professor after grading the first time.. the comments are below and I have attached in a fourth file so you have this while rewriting the paper
“Joel, This is not a terrible essay, BUT your introduction sentences are too similar to the Nat Geo argument you cited. You MUST, even when you paraphrase, do in text citations. Just putting a piece in works cited isn’t enough. We will discuss this in class with the whole section because you’re not the only one having this issue. Switching out a few words does not suffice. I am happy you used external sources, but you must cite in-text properly. Hone in on your own evidence, your own thesis, and take time to build this from the bottom up for the rewrite. -Grammatical errors present -Be careful that you aren’t just listing what civilization is- make sure you have a solid argument (civilization is xyz) and then back those points up.”

Solution: