What does he mean by feeling “disjointed” and “out of balance”?

On page 113, Luis declares that by 1970, he “felt disjointed” and “out of balance,” tired of “just acting and reacting.” He then goes on to state that he wanted to “flirt with depth of mind,” learn more about his “world” and “society” and particularly “about what to do.” What does Luis mean by all of this? What does he mean by feeling “disjointed” and “out of balance”? What does he mean by “flirt[ing] with depth of mind” and learning “about what to do”?
Interpret the following quote from page 113:“I had certain yearnings at the time, which a lot of us had, to acquire authority in our own lives in the face of police, joblessness and powerlessness.”What yearnings do Luis and the other youth have exactly? What type of “authority” is he talking about? What about the “powerlessness”? How do these feelings lead into gang life?


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